Relationship Building Skills for Personal and Professional Growth
Have you ever heard the expression, “Your network is your net worth”?
I believe it’s true and that the advantages of our networks and relationships extend far beyond financial and professional gains and growth. With some focus and determined action in how you foster and grow your relationships, you’ll create a strong network of supporters and people you’re excited to support and connect with. Our networks can help us through challenges, and times of transition, they can help us learn and grow, and they can open up new opportunities and ideas.
The possibilities as to how much your network can impact your life are endless.
Who’s in Your Network?
Your network is not limited to just your professional connections and colleagues. It’s also comprised of family, friends, your kid’s soccer coach, your plumber, your hairdresser, and dog walker. Your network is everyone in your life. And yes, I mean everyone. I’m not suggesting this to mean that you need to focus on “networking” and touching base with every single person in your life all the time, I’m suggesting that every single one of these relationships holds value and possibility. They are our circles of influence and the links in our own personal life’s journey. Sometimes they intersect and overlap, and they also shift, transition, and grow. This blog will show you how to foster these connections with relationship-building skills that can be applied to both your personal and professional network. When you reframe to building your social connections in this way, you take a lot of the angst and stress out of classical networking and find a lot of unexpected gifts in the people who surround you in your everyday life.
You don’t need to think about how to grow a network of 500 people, you simply need to focus on connecting with others in a meaningful way.
A Word About Circles
I’ve been a fan of circles for a long time and love all they hold by way of analogy potential. When it comes to our relationships, I like to think of it like a landscape of circles. I might have my friend circle, my family circle, my very close friend circle, my colleague circle, the school circle, etc.
Sometimes they overlap, and sometimes they join together. They come near us and float away a bit, and sometimes they drift back into our lives even after years and years of being far away. They grow and expand, they shrink, and certain circles dissolve altogether, but the individuals within them become part of new circles.
Visualizing the people in our lives in this way does help us to think more expansively and less rigidly about our relationships and connections. All of your past steps and experiences have brought your individual circle landscape to look like it does in this moment.
Key Circle Building (Relationship-Building) Skills
Relationship building requires a range of skills such as communication, empathy, respect, and trust. You can learn to be stronger in your relationships and foster positive connections with others. I recommend starting by reading each of these skills and identifying which one you’re strongest at already. Then, take some time to reflect on where you need to grow and improve and begin today! Reach out to one person today utilizing one of these key relationship-building skills and you’ll be well on your way!
Communication
Communication is the backbone of every relationship. Building your communication skills involves listening more actively and intentionally, expressing yourself and your ideas clearly, and understanding some of the nonverbal cues of communication.
Some questions to reflect on:
When I’m interacting with others, am I present and listening fully?
When I’m expressing my thoughts and ideas, am I doing it in a clear way?
Am I empathetic in my communication?
Are there relationships in which I need to reach out and communicate more (or less)?
Empathy
Empathy is being able to provide support for the feelings of others, and also be able to share your own when appropriate. Empathy in our relationships is a way for us to show we care on a deeper level and want the best for someone else. It’s a powerful connection tool and a skill that requires intentionality and fostering over time.
Some questions to reflect on:
Am I able to understand and relate to the emotions and experiences of others?
Do I listen without interrupting or jumping to conclusions?
Can I consider the perspectives of others and try to see things from their point of view?
Do I validate the feelings of others when they share their experiences?
Can I regulate my own emotions so they do not impact how I hear someone else?
Self-awareness is the place to begin when developing relationship skills around empathy. With self-awareness, you can begin to recognize how you may get in your own way in being truly compassionate to those around you and begin practicing more empathy in your interactions.
Trust
Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship. Trust levels vary depending on whom you’re connected to and why, and it may take on various forms. Trust can look like honesty, trust can look like reliability, it can look like consistency, and it can look like keeping your commitment to yourself and those around you.
Some questions to reflect on:
Do I create a safe place for others to share their ideas, feelings, and thoughts?
Do I keep people’s secrets to myself when they share something that’s not meant to be broadcasted?
Do I show up when I say I will and do what I say I will do?
Do I show up consistently for the people in my life who matter most?
Am I honest with myself and others?
Trust does not need to take years to grow. It comes through in how we carry ourselves and speak, and is built each and every day through actions and words. It’s something to continuously build and pour into. And it’s vital to communicate clearly and strive to resolve if either party feels as though it’s been broken or disintegrated.
Flexibility
No matter how two peas in a pod two people are, there will be compromise in a relationship as people don’t always see eye-to-eye, share the same thoughts, beliefs, opinions, and values, or have the same needs. Sometimes a relationship requires you to extend slightly out of your comfort zone and make sacrifices. Sometimes a relationship asks you to be less rigid in your perceptions or systems.
A healthy relationship is not give-take, or take-take, a healthy relationship is give-give and involves all individuals to be flexible, compromise, and adapt at various times for the good of the relationship or a shared goal.
Some questions to reflect on:
Am I willing to see things in a new way when a relationship requires me to be open-minded?
Can I see where both parties need to exhibit adaptability when it’s called for and contribute in this way to the relationship?
Respect
Respect could be a relationship-building skills blog in and of itself! There are many aspects to respect and I think that all strong relationships take a level of respect.
The respect for the person themselves, the respect for individualities and differences, respect of viewpoints and values, respect for another person’s boundaries, and respect for another human being. Respect fosters trust, understanding, mutual support, and is interwoven throughout all relationship-building skills.
Some questions to reflect on:
Do I often think that I’m better than others in my viewpoints and beliefs, my status, or my actions?
Do I consider all human beings valuable and worthy simply by being alive?
Do I let someone else share their thoughts and opinions without judgment?
Do I genuinely want others in my life to succeed and thrive?
Positivity
Maintaining positivity is a huge asset to any relationship. This includes being positive about the relationship itself, but also how you view the other person and what they’re doing. No one wants to be in a relationship with someone who sucks the air out of the room each and every time they’re around. Or a person who pokes a hole in every idea you get excited about and tells you exactly why it won’t work, or what you should do instead. We all have hard days, we all need to vent and express painful feelings and emotions, and we all need to hear difficult feedback at times, but make this an outlier and not a normal for your relationships and focus on being positive and communicating with kindness whenever possible. Encourage others, cheer them on, share your celebrations and wins when appropriate, and take a problem-solving can-do attitude.
Some questions to reflect on:
Are you frequently coming to another person with bad news?
Do you quickly chime in and share why something won’t work, or what might go wrong, when a person expresses an idea?
Do you view others in a more negative light than you see yourself?
Kindness
No matter what you’re going through in your life, you can always be kind to others. This is the very crux of relationship building and in fact, I believe it’s so vital in our relationships, that I wrote a whole blog about it here: Why Kindness is So Important.
Even if you think you’ll never see someone again, or you’re in a rush and just want them to get you what you need, or you’re angry at them, you should always strive to be kind. You never know what someone else is going through, what their story is, and how your actions or words will affect them.
You never know when someone will come back into your life, who they know, and what the repercussions of your interactions (no matter how small) will be.
Some questions to reflect on:
How do I treat others both when they’re around and when they’re not?
How patient I am with others and how respectful I am even when I’m being impatient?
Do I consider how my actions and words affect others?
Sometimes kindness involves going out of our way to help someone else, but often it’s in the smallest moments through tiny words, actions, and expressions. Kindness is the key to strengthening and building relationships of any kind.
Relationship Building Skills Wrap Up
Relationship building is a continuous process that requires attention, effort, and practice. Developing these skills can help you create more meaningful, lasting connections with others. The good news is, you can start building these skills immediately with the people already around you.
Start practicing right away with the people in your life in the areas of
Communication
Empathy
Trust
Flexibility
Respect
Kindness
Let me know how it goes and where your new relationship-building skills take you!
Next steps: I help my clients develop a clear plan and strategy around relationship-building and strengthening their skills to foster connection and supportive networks. If this sounds like something you need, I invite you to Book a Discovery Call with me!
Want the next related blog? Check out my “Why Kindness is so Important” blog HERE to keep on learning and growing in your relationships with others.
